...in the newsroom:
"Yeah, they had one of them civil rivalry things. You know. Where brothers and sisters don't get along."
"I axed them to do it."
"I lost all respect for Harrison Ford when he started sleeping with Calista Flockhart. That would be like making love to a green bean!"
Anchor: "You missed the poopin' and pukin'."
Sports: "Poopin' and pukin'?"
Anchor: "Yeah, I was sick." (pause) "I prefer the poop to the puke."
In reaction to the story about Kobe Bryant being suspended for using his elbow to stop an opponents nose in a game Thursday:
"This is the NBA. The National Battery Association? The National Battery and Assault?"
Yes, these are the people who bring you the news!
As heard by the radio announcers at Thursday's Iowa State Women's Basketball game as Coach Fennelly was putting in walk-on player Kandice Beenken:
"If you get the ball just jack it up!" ISU won 77 to 28 tying a record for least points scored by an opponent.
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