Crazy Calls

Working at a TV station, I've taken my fair share of crazy calls. And the crazies always come out when there's an organized protest, in this case of NBC's new show The Book of Daniel, premiering this Friday.

I've been through this before, when NYPD Blue premiered. The whole 'bare-butt' controversy. The organized protests didn't work then, and they won't work now.

It can even be argued that the protests are getting the show more, free publicity than it would ever get on its own, thereby prolonging it's shelf life.

People get curious about what all the complaining's about and check out the show for themselves.

Anyway, back to my main topic, which is the crazy calls I get.

Today I've answered calls from all four states surrounding the one I live and work in to complain about Daniel. Onlyl thing is, we don't broadcast in those areas. They called the wrong station. But try to convince them of that.

I can remember taking all sorts of weird calls.

Like the lady who called in to complain about a network change and got verbally abusive. We eventually hung up on her, which is actually pretty rare--we usually just let them rant and rave. She called back and kept calling back until we finally threatened to sic the police on her for assault and harrassment. Then she contented herself with leaving dozens of messages on the General Manager's voice mail.

There are the callers who call in wanting to talk to Peter Jennings (ok, dating myself there) or Tom Brokaw, or any of the other numerous national names who *don't work at the local affiliates. They think the national folks are just in the next room and won't believe us when we say they're in New York City! Or Iraq! Or wherever they happen to be that week.

But the call that I think will always stand out in my mind is one I took as an intern in Los Angeles.

Nimitz' Lady: "KABC Eyewitness News. May I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, I have a billion dollars for whoever can bring me Bill Clinton's head in a sack." (totally deadpan, no excitement whatsoever)

Nimitz' Lady: "Can I get your name and number?"

He actually left his name and number with us. Of course we promptly turned it over to the FBI. I have no idea what happened to him, but I'm willing to guess he ended up in a mental hospital, somewhere.

Nimitz' Lady