Last night Der Deutscher and I went out with some friends from my station to a Lebanese restaurant. Great food, by the way. For entertainment, they had some ladies from a belly dancing school come in and dance.
These were beautiful women. Full of curves. Very womanly. Gorgeous, with breasts and bellies and full arms. The way God meant women to look. Not like the standard Hollywood stick figure held up today as the modern ideal of female flesh (without the flesh, that is.)
As we were leaving I turned to Der Deutscher and asked, "Why is it I think they're beautiful for the very same reaons I think I'm fat and ugly?"
It was more in the way of a rhetorical question. I pretty much know the answer. I'm a Type A personality, an overachiever, a perfectionist.
The flaws, mistakes and bobbles I can accept in others, even applaud, I cannot forgive in myself. Society says I must be thin, with no cellulite and a flat stomach. Thus, if I do not meet that model of perfection I am a failure not worthy of this world.
At any rate, that's the sub-concious thought process in my brain.
All I can say is Thank God He accepts and loves those who aren't perfect. Just trying to keep up with my own requirements is hard enough. I think I'd just lie down and give up on life if I had to meet HIS requirements for perfection.
Luckily, he's already done that for me. Halleluia!
Nimitz' Lady
No comments:
Post a Comment