Truly Random Thoughts

Broken Nails
I've lost all my fingernails.

Not completely. They're just not long anymore.

I have this policy: when three nails break off I cut the rest off.

This is partly vanity, they look weird with half the nails long and the other half varying lengths of short. But it's also basic practicality.

I can type with short fingernails. I can type with long fingernails. I cannot type with half and half!


Walking
Now that JBP is in all day summer camp instead of afternoons only day care, I have my lunch hour to myself. No more rushing home to chauffeur him from one caregiver to another.

So, I've taken to speed walking during that time. Partly because that's always been the plan for once summer camp started and partly in response to Chookooloonk's challenge.

So far it's been two days. I have no idea how far I'm going because I've forgotten my pedometer both days. But one thing I have learned, is it makes me much more mentally capable of handling the remainder of the work day.

My office is just a couple blocks away from my city's version of Central Park. So I just speed walk my size 16 behind over there, cruise around for about 50 minutes, then head back to work to sponge off and get back to work.

I doubt I've lost any weight (it's only been two days) but I already feel better. The tired is the good, physical tired, not the emotional tired. And my hams and calves are sore. The feel good sore, not the achy, painful, something's wrong sore.


Summer Camp
JBP is having a blast at summer camp. He's been begging me every day for the last two summers to attend. Now, he's finally old enough.

I have to wake him up in the morning because he's sleeping so hard from all that playing during the day. But I only have to tell him once. By the time I turn around he's up, dressed and slipping his backpack over his little shoulders. (It's almost as big as he is!)

Unfortunately, his first day of summer camp was marred by my having to pick him up at noon so he could be there for Sedona's passing.

I've had friends who were at school events, even on a trip, when a loved one died and their family thought they were doing the kid a favor by letting them have fun. It's not a favor to let a child always remember he or she was off having fun when a loved one died. It's handing them a load of guilt they'll never quite get rid of.

I wasn't sure if he'd want to be there when she passed. But he chose to stay by her (and Der Deutscher's) side the whole way. It meant a lot to Der Deutscher, let me tell you. I've never seen JBP and Der Deutscher emotionally closer.

For the most part it doesn't seem as if Sedona's death is effecting JBP. Like I said, he's having a blast at summer camp. But every once and awhile something he hears or sees reminds him of her and the next thing I know (or Der Deutscher) is I've got a young man climbing into my lap for a hug.


Eighth Anniversary
And, did I mention Tuesday was my 8th wedding anniversary? Given our loss that day we naturally didn't feel much like celebrating.

I'd gotten him an anniversary cake with a Cyclone on it (ISU brought us together) and our important dates: when we met, when we got engaged and when we got married.

He liked it, but again due to Sedona's loss, didn't touch it until yesterday. When he did, he and JPB were both acting like little kids, barely able to wait until they had forks to dive in.

By the way, it may be eight years legal, but we've been together since Aug. 93 so it really feels more like 13 years.

Of course, we're still working on chipping away at that cake. I figure we'll have it finished by the end of this weekend.

Nimitz' Lady